The Ryan Gosling Complex

Well, the Dating 4 Groceries Post was pretty popular, so I'm back with more and will post more in the future as long as I have ammunition. Keep it coming guys!

It isn't a Top Ten Do-Not-Do List, like last time. Nope. This one is solely for those of you with The Ryan Gosling Complex, so listen up!

If you say you look like Ryan Gosling...this is Ryan Gosling...

then, you better look like Ryan Gosling. Or you are setting yourself up for failure and me up for disappointment. I don't care if you don't look like him, just don't lie and pose your pictures so I think, well, maybe...

Don't take this personally, I'm here to help. I think what happens in these scenarios is one of the following things:

1. Your ex was drunk, you were blurry, and she said you looked like Ryan Gosling.
2. You want so badly to look like Ryan Gosling, you see him in yourself, but no one else does.
3. You look like Ryan Gosling in one out of the 300 photos you have of yourself, and claim it always.
4. You used to look like Ryan Gosling, but that was several years ago.

Boys, here is how to handle the, "I think I look like a famous hot guy who all girls are dying to date" situation.

Ask a friend. If you don't know how to ask, repeat after me, "Do I really look like Ryan Gosling? I need you to shoot straight with me friend/sister/mom/ex, because I'm about to claim it on my online dating profile and it could ruin it for me if it isn't true."

Be prepared. Here are possible reactions from the friend/sister/mom/ex:

1. Laughing: Make sure they aren't drinking anything, or it might end up on you!)
2. Pity: "Oh, honey. Where did you get that idea?"
3. Sarcasm: "Yeah, right! And I look like Christian Bale!" (p.s. Your friend is gay.)
4. Head Tilt and Pause: "Only when you look to the left and I squint."
5. One in a million: "Actually - yes, you do. Own it, Brutha!"

If you get number 5, I would cross check. If you still get number 5, and you know how to use proper grammar, and be a gentleman on occasion - you will be swooped up by the woman of your dreams in no time and they will be lined up around the block to get that chance. 

Otherwise, let it go, and pray for the day that you will meet your special match. The one who will love you for who you really are, who will occasionally see you as her very own Ryan Gosling, through beer goggles. And the odds of that happening are way better than one in a million!